My Apologies

I saw No Country For Old Men for the first time this weekend.

I realized after a while that I was watching myself. I'm very much like the character Anton Chigurh (played by Javier Bardem). I'm like him in almost every way. It's pretty amazing.

Anyway, I had an ephinany. A lot of the charters in the movie are afraid of Anton Chigurh. Maybe a lot of the people in my life are afraid of me? If so (and it's very likely considering all the evidence I have), I apologize.

I don't mean anybody any harm. I'm pretty dangerous and I'm capable of all sorts of destruction. However, I'm able to keep it all that contained. It's been a long time since I've gone on a rampage. Also, I have it pretty good right now. So, the likelihood of a rampage is greatly reduced.

So, in short, sleep well my pretties.

= )

Greg Joins 21st Century

I now have a Flickr account.

You can see more Greg related photos than you really care to see at:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/greg_lange/

My Replacement at Work

While out on baby related leave, I was replaced at work by the above.

Sadly, not too many people noticed the difference between old paddle head and me. = )

The sticky note says "Blah blah math sports blah".

Inside the shirt is a bag of charcoal briquettes.

COD4 Kill/Death Ratio

Last weekend I finally pushed my kill to death ratio in Call of Duty 4 to over 1.

It took me a while to get good at the game and so I had a large number of early deaths to overcome.

Also, I'm ranked 9,721 in kills overall for all players on the Xbox 360.

Woot!

Tess Harper Lange

Click on the picture to see photos of the big day.

Hitler, Cowboys Fan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2triiYXSY8

Pretty funny.

What an Idiot

This guy is an idiot on so many levels.

Click here to read his uplifting story.

Betty's Vehicle

Betty, my brother Kevin's girlfriend, got in a pretty bad accident January 1st of this year. Here is a picture of her vehicle:


Fortunately, her only serious injury was an ankle broken in 7 or 8 places. She could have been hurt much worse. Tonight, she had 4 hours of surgery to put pins in her foot. It sounds like everything went well and she's on the road to recovery.

Oh, and for the record, the accident wasn't her fault.

Gina's Baby Shower at Work

Gina's friends at work threw her a baby shower. They had cake and gave us a bunch of good stuff. Thanks guys! Here is a photolog entry with pictures from the shower.

Nancy Grace on Decapitation

On Friday's show, Nancy called "decapitation" a euphemism for chopping a person's head off.

In a related note, it turns out precipitation is a euphemism for rain.

Why is Everybody Piling on Java?

1. Java: Evolutionary Dead End
2. Computer Science Education: Where Are the Software Engineers of Tomorrow?
3. The Perils of JavaSchools

Leave Java alone!!! All Java wanted was to give you a cross platform programing environment where code could be compiled once and run anywhere. All Java wanted to do was perform for you!!! And what do you do?!? You just trash it!!! It's not easy being Java!!! I know some Java people are tools, but you can't blame Java for that!!! Java is going through a tough time right now!!! Just lay off and let Java get its act together!!! It will come around!!!

Work Pictures

Pictures of some of the creepy people I work with:

http://flickr.com/photos/edmao/sets/72157594367309143/

(Courtesy of Edwardo.)

The Return of Nancy Grace

Last night, Nancy Grace returned to TV for the first time since the birth of her twins. Here are some highlights from the show:

1. Nancy revealed that she has never had a "man doctor". However, a couple of "man doctors" treated her and did the c-section on her when her babies had to delivered due to the problems Nancy was having at the end of her pregnancy. Somehow, both the babies and Nancy are doing well despite the efforts of these "man doctors".
2. There is a regular guest contributor on Nancy's show that my friends and I call the "Pirrana Woman" because she has many sharp looking teeth. Last night this lady appeared on the show for a short time. It is possible she got her teeth fixed, but I can't be sure. If she did get her teeth fixed, we'll have to think up a new nickname for her.
3. The "Fake Nancy Grace" didn't make an appearance.
4. At least 7 different people/callers cried during the show.
5. The Brittney Spears drama was Nancy's main story of the night. Is it it possible that Nancy thinks she can be a better mom than Brittney?
6. Nancy spent more than half of her show showing off her new babies. She had a live feed from her New York apartment. The babies never cried. One of them had little devil horns. The other had alligator claws.
7. It was revealed that Nancy's mom recently fell and broke both her arms. Did Nancy push her? Nancy said her mom slipped on some ice. So, we'll go with that story.
   

Wet Rush Hour in San Antonio

It rained this morning during rush hour in San Antonio. I heard on the radio that there were 60+ accidents around town. The above one happened outside my back window. That truck is in the ditch pointed the wrong way.

Amazing and Surreal Chernobyl Video

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=441614481664437249

The most bizarre part had to be the soldiers who had to run around on the roof throwing radioactive material into the pit so that it could be sealed in. The were called "biorobots". They were told they had 1 minute to throw 4 blocks into the pit and then they had to get out. The video of the soldiers clearing the radioactive material was amazing. It looked like they were running some deadly obstacle course. In one part it looked like they were carrying these huge brushes.

The radioactive lava-like glass was outstanding as well. If it hadn't been for all that sand around the reactor, the disaster might have been much worse.

On a side note, some of the video reminded me of some of the IT jobs I've had through the years.

Yoko Ono Knitting Blindfolded

Why is Yoko Ono knitting blindfolded in the background of this music video/performance?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MieDFkhlByo

My Blog Has a Real Lemon In It

See?

Things I Heard in a Getting Ready For the Birth of Your Baby Class Tonight

From the instructor:

1. One of my favorite topics is car seats.
2. Reality TV is scary, scary stuff.
3. They have partner Yoga for the guys.
4. There is a pets class, pets and your baby, another good class.
5. Every time a baby is born the hospital plays the Brahms Lullaby.
6. Every time you go through a stoplight do some Kegel exercises.
7. La Leche League is a Spanish language breastfeeding support group.
8. Babies don't need a lot of stuff.
9. Only pay attention to the advice of people with kids that you like to be around.
10. Another righteous concern!
11. And, by the way, you all look beautiful!
12. Breast feed like crazy and you'll be fine.
13. "Violating" is such a strong word.
14. Hot flashes is a thermal condition.
15. Pushing your baby out is not something that you should be afraid of.
16. We have breasts and breasts have the amazing capacity to make milk.
17. The uterus' first cousin is the bladder.
18. Some babies that are born early are all hairy and look like Chewbacca.
19. Stay fit and you'll never have to grow old.
20. Your cervix will dilate from the size of a Cheerio to the size of a small bagel.
21. Your water breaking could be like a big jar of pickles dropping on the floor.
    

From other people in the class:

1. My hobby is shopping.
2. Our dog sleeps with us and takes bathes with my wife.
3. I'm worried about my baby being born with a tail or missing fingers or toes.
4. I like to sing to the baby and it jumps around like it's dancing.
5. I'm asleep and I wake up to him rubbing lotion on me.
6. During birth, where do the fluids go?
7. I heard that if you have a lot of heartburn your baby will come out hairy?
8. Are those child bearing hips?
9. I've heard there are pills to make you happy during childbirth?
   

Save the Internet!

I'm taking a break from my normal blogging to pass on this important message:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mNHXB_IJ4I

Whatever It Takes

I'm proud to announce that my new personal motto is "Whatever It Takes". This replaces my old personal motto, "Leave Me Alone or I'll Knock You Down".

What does "Whatever It Takes" mean to me? Well, suppose I have a goal, any old goal. "Whatever It Takes" means I'll do anything that proves necessary in order to complete that goal. So, suppose my goal is a peanut butter sandwich. I'd do any of the following if need be in order to get a peanut butter sandwich:

1. Tear the heads off 1,000 baby chickens.
2. Blow up an entire planet.
3. Wear a tie-dyed shirt.
4. Shave my head and paint it blue.
5. Dance with bears.
6. Learn Haskell.
7. Chop down a redwood with a butter knife.
8. Learn to juggle 4 balls at once.
9. Stop playing foosball forever.
10. Play dead for 7 hours.

You might ask me to describe the situations in which I'd have to do each of 1-10 above in order to obtain a peanut butter the sandwich. If you do that, you're missing the point. "Whatever It Takes" isn't about specifics. It's about getting things done no matter the challenges that stand in the way.

So, in short, world, get out of my way or I'll do whatever it takes to remove you as an obstacle.