San Antonio Now Seattle of the South

With all the rain we've been getting lately, I say we start calling San Antonio the Seattle of the South.

We'll just need to add a few things to San Antonio in order to make the new designation more exact:

1. We'll need a chain of snooty coffee shops with headquarters here.
2. We'll need more open water in and around town. I say we replace the South and East Sides with big holes that we fill with water. We'll move the displaced people to Poteet.
3. We'll need a fish market, someplace you can go and have people throw catfish at you.
4. We'll need a large tech company to make their home here.
   
5. We already have the Hemisphere Tower. So, there is no need to build a Space Needle knockoff.
6. We need a Boeing clone, maybe a company that builds submarines.
7. Seattle has Mount Rainier. So, I propose we build a mountain out of trash and debris. Further, I propose we build it on top of Castle Hills (nobody will miss it). We'll accept the garbage from the rest of Texas for as long as it takes to build a 12k foot plus mountain. We'll name it Mount Fearsome and it will be awesome! We'll model it on K2.
8. In case the rain doesn't continue at its current pace, I think we should install the World's largest sprinkler system. Huge sprinkler heads would be placed all around town in a grid-like pattern. Whenever we need rain to maintain the illusion of being the Seattle of the South, the Mayor can just hit a button and rain will fall!

I should be elected Mayor on the above platform alone!