This comic was inspired by true events.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Bad Things About Pycon
This was written for a coworker who was bummed out about not being able to go to Pycon this year. The views expressed here are possibly slightly exaggerated for comedic effect.
1) Django people. They are crazy. Avoid at all cost. If you don't know why, go and find a herd.
2) It's held in the same city two years in a row and that city is never Las Vegas. I'll go to Atlanta once. Under normal circumstances, why would I want to go back?
3) You know the people you work with? Imagine hundreds of such people all in one place. Imagine seeing eight copies of yourself in the hotel lobby. Now imagine yourself getting into a fist fight with three copies of yourself. Pycon is mirrored worlds colliding with frightening results and often shards of glass in eyeballs.
4) Guido van Rossum is lazy. The year I went to Pycon his keynote address consisted of him answering questions tweeted to him on a large screen. Would it be too much trouble to write a little something up in advance?
5) Pycon is for networking and schmoozing. Don't expect to learn very much or see too many new things. It's for "pressing the flesh" and what socially awkward flesh it is!
6) All the talk about Python saving the planet (I'm slightly exaggerating) is nauseating. It's a freaking programming language. Get over it. It's not going to cure cancer, it's not going to become self-aware, and it's not going to make you live forever. Other programming languages can be nice too.
7) There are five talks you think look interesting. Four of them are scheduled at the same time. You are able to go to two of the five talks. They turn out to be disappointing and the ones you had to miss were rumored to be awesome. You watch the talks you missed on video later, at home, when they are posted. The audio and video turn out to be poor and the talks really weren't awesome anyway.
8) If you are a single guy and are looking for a cool python chick for a relationship, forget about it. There are attractive women at Pycon. However, they are always mysteriously surrounded by huge groups of smarmy looking guys. Good luck with that.
9) Hipsters. Pycon has them.
1) Django people. They are crazy. Avoid at all cost. If you don't know why, go and find a herd.
2) It's held in the same city two years in a row and that city is never Las Vegas. I'll go to Atlanta once. Under normal circumstances, why would I want to go back?
3) You know the people you work with? Imagine hundreds of such people all in one place. Imagine seeing eight copies of yourself in the hotel lobby. Now imagine yourself getting into a fist fight with three copies of yourself. Pycon is mirrored worlds colliding with frightening results and often shards of glass in eyeballs.
4) Guido van Rossum is lazy. The year I went to Pycon his keynote address consisted of him answering questions tweeted to him on a large screen. Would it be too much trouble to write a little something up in advance?
5) Pycon is for networking and schmoozing. Don't expect to learn very much or see too many new things. It's for "pressing the flesh" and what socially awkward flesh it is!
6) All the talk about Python saving the planet (I'm slightly exaggerating) is nauseating. It's a freaking programming language. Get over it. It's not going to cure cancer, it's not going to become self-aware, and it's not going to make you live forever. Other programming languages can be nice too.
7) There are five talks you think look interesting. Four of them are scheduled at the same time. You are able to go to two of the five talks. They turn out to be disappointing and the ones you had to miss were rumored to be awesome. You watch the talks you missed on video later, at home, when they are posted. The audio and video turn out to be poor and the talks really weren't awesome anyway.
8) If you are a single guy and are looking for a cool python chick for a relationship, forget about it. There are attractive women at Pycon. However, they are always mysteriously surrounded by huge groups of smarmy looking guys. Good luck with that.
9) Hipsters. Pycon has them.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
New Personal Motto
I'm changing my personal motto again.
"Challenge everything." sounds like a good motto but it's completely exhausting if take literally.
So, my new motto is "All Lange all the time.".
Please update your records.
"Challenge everything." sounds like a good motto but it's completely exhausting if take literally.
So, my new motto is "All Lange all the time.".
Please update your records.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
NFL Plan
Instead of playing an 18 game season, the NFL should add 8 teams (for a total of 40 teams) and have 16 teams make the playoffs each year. Also, the NFL should add a second bye week. This would make way more money for the NFL than an 18 game season would. And, players wouldn't have to play two extra games a year. Plus there would be a lot more jobs for players.
Under this plan, the league would have 8 divisions with 5 teams each. 8 wildcards would make the playoffs in addition to the 8 division winners.
Having 40 teams would dilute the league a little bit, the average team would not be as good or make as much money. However, I think it would make the NFL better. The great individual players would have more opportunity to make big plays and have big games. Imagine Barry Sanders running against NFL teams that were closer in talent level to the top college teams. Also, the NFL as a whole would make more money.
In addition to the above, the NFL should add a salary cap with a luxury tax and a rookie pay scale.
Oh, obviously, San Antonio should get one of those 40 teams. = )
Under this plan, the league would have 8 divisions with 5 teams each. 8 wildcards would make the playoffs in addition to the 8 division winners.
Having 40 teams would dilute the league a little bit, the average team would not be as good or make as much money. However, I think it would make the NFL better. The great individual players would have more opportunity to make big plays and have big games. Imagine Barry Sanders running against NFL teams that were closer in talent level to the top college teams. Also, the NFL as a whole would make more money.
In addition to the above, the NFL should add a salary cap with a luxury tax and a rookie pay scale.
Oh, obviously, San Antonio should get one of those 40 teams. = )
Monday, December 27, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
New Personal Motto
My first personal motto was "Get out of my way or I'll knock you down.".
After that, I labored under the motto "Whatever it takes.". That motto was particularly successful. While it was in effect, results were up 78.4% and uptime reached six 8's or 88.8888%.
I'm proud to announce that I've changed my motto to "Challenge everything.". Please update your records accordingly. I'm expecting big things from this new motto.
After that, I labored under the motto "Whatever it takes.". That motto was particularly successful. While it was in effect, results were up 78.4% and uptime reached six 8's or 88.8888%.
I'm proud to announce that I've changed my motto to "Challenge everything.". Please update your records accordingly. I'm expecting big things from this new motto.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Suicide Note?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/24/mitchell-heisman-suicide_n_738121.html
That's not a suicide note. That is a term paper.
That's not a suicide note. That is a term paper.
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